If you are to get thee best out of sexual intercourse and love making then you should first of all know that no two sexualities are the same. Don’t go using the style of play you used on a previous sex partner on another....that’s the most fatal error you can ever make!
It is important to know that we have varying tastes in food, movies, books, hobbies, and vacation spots. In fact, we extol our unique choices in cuisine and cultural preferences. Yet almost everybody is hesitant to tell their partner precisely what he or she would like in bed.
Every month, magazines print sweeping generalizations about what "every" man wants or what "every" woman responds to. But not every woman craves having her man weave a rose into her pubic hair. Not every man thrills to finding his woman, naked and wrapped in Saran Wrap, hiding behind the bedroom door. Our sexuality is as individual as our thumbprint. General advice on how to be a good lover might work for the proverbial everyman or every woman. But you are not everyman or every woman. Your Lover is not everyman or every woman. You are in bed with one unique individual, and to make that person fall sexually in love with you, you must throw back the sheets and uncover his or her very special desires.
The man who determines what the bashful child cowering inside his beautiful, sophisticated woman really wants will beat out all the competition. The woman who, like Mata Hari, extracts the deepest sexual secrets from her handsome, urbane man will have found the key to his heart. Does this sound like we're taking a trip down the back alleys of sex? Not at all. We're talking Main Street here. We're talking about, if not what goes on behind our neighbours’ locked bedroom doors, then what they wish were going on. That leaves as many possibilities as there are men and women in the world.
Some like it tough, some like it tender. Some like it raucous, some like it refined. Some like it crude, some like it considerate. The variety of desires that fall within the range of absolute utter consummate normal is astounding. Visions of movie stars, our lover's best friends, twosomes, threesomes-foursomes-moresomes, dominatrixes, handsome rapists, and even an occasional German shepherd normally enter normal people's normal fantasies.
I came upon this awareness quite by accident back in the day while collecting data on people's sexual desires. Over a period of time I examined men and women from every walk of life and my little interviews with people concerned the sexual attitudes and assets they would like to have in an ideal partner.
How Do Male and Female Sexual Desires Vary?
How do nale and female sexual desires vry? Vastly, when it comes to their sexual fantasies, and even more vastly in what role they want their partners to play in their fantasies. Essentially, men's fantasies are more extreme and diverse than women's. Their desires are tied more to specific acts and attitudes. Their fantasies are less connected to the personalities and emotions of their partner. Often men's fantasies involve control, one partner over the other. One of our more intriguing findings is that men can suspend reality during the sex act and get off more on playacting than women can. (For women, this peculiarity will come into play when we share specific techniques to get a man to fall in love with you.)
Women's sexual fantasies, in contrast to men's, are more complicated. Often they are tied to a partner (not necessarily the one they were in bed with) and emphasized the relationship between the people in the fantasy. A woman's erotic dreams involve her partner's feelings and her own physical and emotional responses to what is going on. Unlike in men's fantasies, the mood and the ambiance of the encounter plays a bigger role for women. Unlike men, women have less desire to share their fantasies with their partner. (Persons, pay attention: Steamy emotions and love enter a woman's fantasies far more often than a man's.)
What Differentiates Men's and Women's Fantasies?
Why do women connect love and sex more closely than men do? Anthropologists explain it in genetic terms. The female must fight to keep the family together so offspring can grow up well-fed and well-protected. Sexologists explain it experimentally. Like our personalities, our sexual persona and desires are formed in childhood, especially in the formative years between five and eight. During these years, little girls experience more affection than little boys. Mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, and even Mommy's and Daddy's friends all cuddle and kiss little girls. Little girls sit on Daddy's lap and hug him more than little boys do. It is natural that a girl might have her first erotic feelings while being cuddled. Little boys are not cuddled and kissed as much. They experience affection in a different way—maybe a pat on the back or a playful "Hiya, buddy" punch on the shoulder. That expresses love to little boys. Little boys even learn to shun affection and kisses in public.
Recently I was walking past an elementary school about eight o'clock in the morning. A mother came up to the school with two children about seven or eight years old. She was holding her daughter's hand, and her son was bounding ahead of them. At the front door of the school, she bent down and gave her daughter a kiss and a big hug. The little girl threw her arms around her mother's neck and said, "Bye-bye, Mommy. See you later," and went bouncing into the school. The mother then bent over her son to do the same. The little boy stiffened and put his hands up to shield his face: "Mother, pleasesse don't kiss me while everybody is watching." The mother laughed and said, "OK, buddy. Put up your dukes." They had a playful boxing match for a few seconds before the boy trounced happily along after his sister into the school.
Little girls, when playing together, touch each other a lot. They braid each other's hair or put their arms around each other when they are afraid. Male friends are more apt to wrestle or "shoot" each other in a game of cowboys and Indians or cops and robbers. Is it any wonder, then, that girls grow up connecting love with kisses and cuddles, and boys grow up connecting love with a little rough play or power games?
Additional Disparities
The most striking difference between men and women, however, as illustrated by the letters The Project received, is not in their actual fantasies but in what men and women want to do with their sexual fantasies. It is curious to note that men's and women's fantasy desires were in direct contrast to their real-life stereotypes. In day-to-day matters, a woman usually likes to share sensitive information and a man prefers to keep his thoughts to himself. However, in sex, many men want to share their sexual fantasies with a woman. Some even have a compelling desire to playact them out with her.
How Make Your Lover Fall in Love with You by Exploiting these Differences
Women, know that men connect sex and ego very tightly, much more so than women do. Men's real-world thoughts ("What's going on in this relationship? Where will it go? How do I feel about my partner? How does she feel about me?") all interfere with desire—read potency. Therefore, many men have learned to suspend reality during the sex act. If what is actually going on in bed is not hot enough to keep them hard, they let their imaginations do the job. Men can perform better when they forget about the complexities of their relationship with you and give their imagination and their bodies 100 percent to raw sex. Since a man is more potent with a woman who shares his sexual attitude and his fantasies, he is more apt to fall in love with her. Huntresses, here's the plan. First we need to explore raw sex. Then, afterward, I give you a technique to excavate your Lover's core fantasies. Finally we explore ways to manipulate those fantasies to make him fall in love with you.
Now, men, concerning technique, women love you harder when you give them fireworks with their sex, but they are hesitant to tell you how to do it better for fear of hurting your ego. Concerning their fantasies, women are more content enjoying them in the privacy of their own minds. Also, when it comes to choosing a lifetime partner, a woman is more susceptible to falling in love with—and getting hot over—a man who fulfills her relationship fantasies as well. The two, technique and relationship, put together add up to steamy sensuality.
Men, you have to excavate your Lover's relationship fantasies. Mix the two so you can give your woman the steamy sensuality she craves. Even though everyone's sexuality is as personalized as a thumbprint, there are basic gender differences in how men and women look at sex. You can also read staying sexually active for other advice
